shika-says

Eight Theories for Game Of Thrones Season 8 By Shika Budhoo

Wed, 24 Apr 2019 14:09:34 +0100

Eight Theories for Game Of Thrones Season 8

By Shika Budhoo

Seasonal Spoilers for Game of Thrones ahead!

1. The Valonqar is NOT JAIME LANNISTER

The theory states:

“When your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.”

Jaime has only one hand so he cannot wrap his HANDS around anyone’s throat. Also the only reason for Cersei to cry real tears now is if Jaime dies. So if he is dead he cannot be the Valonqar.

2. Who Will Die In The Battle Of Winterfell?

Theon Greyjoy, Brienne of Tarth, Ser Jorah Mormont, Jaime Lannister, Ser Davros, and Sansa will die in the Battle of Winterfell, Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 3.

They have all reached a pinnacle of their journeys, gone through the hero’s journey and come to a new version of themselves.

• Theon found the balance in him between Greyjoy and Stark. When he fights for Winterfell he makes good all the horrible things he did to it. When he dies protecting them, he will have truly left the name of Reek behind him.

• Brienne fulfilled her promise to kill Renly Baratheon's killer, i.e. Stannis! Her promise to Catelyn Stark has also been fulfilled. She has got what she always wanted Knighthood and it came from Jaime Lannister a man who she loves. Life cannot better for her ( except maybe bedding Jaime… but I don’t think this will happen) giving her life to a good cause is I’m guessing how all Knights wish to go.

• Jorah has redeemed himself for all his failures and bad choices in life, he has come back from ‘doomed for death status' and healed, he has been forgiven and never forgotten by Daenerys. In episode 2, him telling Daenerys that she is right in choosing Tyrion over him as her hand, is proof he is a better man than he ever was. He is living up to his fathers legacy of doing the right thing. When Sam gave him Hearts bane in his fathers (Jeor Mormont) name, Jorah has finally, through Sam in a round about way, got what he always wanted: his father's blessing. Jorah no longer serves as Dany's most trusted advisor, nor is the one who can protect her any longer. Jorah must die.

• Jaime has come a long way from episode 1 season 1. He has loss a hand, found his honour and finally left the only thing that was holding him back from being a good man: Cersei. Cersei is the only person he has ever truly romantically loved. In choosing to leave her to fight for the living beside Brienne he is making the most honourable decision he has ever made. From pushing Bran off the ledge to fighting beside the Starks its evidence he is a changed man and anything else in this journey will not come close to that change in him. Unless he is left to live to kill Cersei and we already know he won't ever do that, because he has one hand and the valonqar has two. Also in S8 E2 Jaime had the most screen time compared to anyone else and so it seems like a farewell to him considering he is one of the major characters in this entire series.

Also it seems like Jaime’s death will be the fall of Cersei... He is the only Lannister left that she loves and when he dies her fire that was born along side him at birth will go out.

• Ser Davros has lost everyone he has ever loved. When his son and Princess Shireen died he hasn't loved any one else after or more than them. In ep 2, when he tells the man who is scared of the battle to come he says: “If I can live through that (The Battle of the Bastards) you can live through this.” He doesn’t say WE can live through this. Also The Onion Knight has survived way to many battles not being a fighter, this battle will take him because if he dies in glory he is truly giving his life for good and will finally be at peace with Shireen and his son.

• Sansa has reached full metamorphosis, her character has taken its hero's journey, from stupid naive girl to the most intelligent person (Arya knows) and she is proving smarter than Tyrion in matters where Cersei is concerned at least. Sansa has survived being in the clutches of Geoffry Cersei and Littlefinger, overcome rape, abuse and losing her family. She has fought in her own way, found strength and found her family. She is ruling Winterfell the way her mother would have and so she has reached all her character can in this.

Also Sansa can't fight for shit. Its like how fat people should expect to die first in a zombie attack cos their cardio sucks? (Zombieland) In GOT if you can’t fight, you pretty much are better use to the night king. Also how cool will a Sansa Wight be? Arya vs Sansa, which will take us back to season 1 and their sibling rivalry. Ok I digress, no Sansa Wight, but her death seems highly possible.

3.Some characters cannot die in the Battle of Winterfell.

Even though I understand Valar Morghulis, there are some men that must not die… yet.

The Hound, Bran, Greyworm and Missandei, Tormund, Tyrion cannot die in The Battle Of Winterfell Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 3.

• The Hound won’t die at The Battle of Winterfell, he has to meet his brother Gregor Clegane in a fight to the death. Duh!

• Tyrion Lannister cannot die. Tyrion is the Valonqar. He is Cersei's little brother, he has two hands and from the beginning she has been trying to kill him. She has been cruel to him from the time he was born and in Ep 2 Tyrion speaks about how he would love to rip her apart.

When Jaime dies in the battle of Winterfell Tyrion tells her of Jaime’s death, she drowns in her tears and then Tyrion kills Cersei. This must happen… how else? Its obvious right?

• Bran will live. Bran explained that it is him that the Night king wants in order to evoke the long night. I don’t see Game Of Thrones creators making this happen. If Bran dies in Ep 3, that leaves 3 episodes of the Night King turning all of Westeros into Ice. Apart from that, 3 episodes is way too much time (238 minutes to be exact: 78+80+80) for that, considering the fast pace at which time moves in this final series. Also, the white walkers don’t talk much, so I doubt this would be good for dialogue and would certainly end the series on a note that isn’t in keeping with the series history of amazing dialogue.

Imagine:

White walker: aaaaaaargh

Night King: (Points with long ice stick to Cersei.)

White walker 2: aaaaargh

Cersei: No don’t kill me, I can be your Night Queen.

Night king: (thinks then Throws aan ice staff at her. Takes the iron throne.)

The end!

As you were.

So you get what I’m saying? Right? Bran will live.

• Greyworm and Missandei won't die. They are technically the only 2 black characters in the series. I am not being racist, but if they are both killed then GOT is the whitest series that ever there was. White Privilege is one thing but White Walker Privilege is something else. They will sail to Naath when this is all over. It may even be one of the final shots ala Lord Of The Rings Frodo sailing off into the sunset to better days. And while I don’t think that they should be kept alive only BECAUSE they are only two characters of colour in the show, I don’t see how they can die at The Battle of Winterfell.

• Tormund will survive the Battle Of Winterfell. He survived an army of white walkers, the night king, the white walker (flyer?) dragon AND a couple thousand year old wall collapsing around him. Giantsbane can't die now. He is one of the final free folk and also there needs to be someone who will mourn Brienne properly.

4.Jon Snow will die!

Okay maybe Jon will die. He was brought back from the dead, to win the Battle of the Bastards, and now to help take back Winterfell. Without him, Dany would never have come to save Winterfell.

Also he has technically found out what was promised to him in Season 1 Episode 2. Ned Stark told him: “The next time we see each other, we'll talk about your mother.” Now that he finally knows the truth about his mother, he may finally have peace of mind. I hope he doesn’t die, but there’s a chance he will die because he has come back so miraculously before, keeping him alive now maybe overkill.

Also he calls Danaerys “Dany” which she warned him in Season 7 not to do because the last person who called her that was her brother, Viserys, who died when Drogo killed him in season 1.

5.If Dany and Jon survive the battle at Winterfell they will ascend the throne together or destroy it together.

Even though I made valid points earlier as to why Jon can die, if we think about it: They cannot kill the tension of ‘who has stronger rites' to the iron throne by killing one of them so soon. Unless they discuss this during the Battle of Winterfell episode.

Before the series closes one of them may die, or both, but they will not die at the Battle of Winterfell.

I think, Danaerys and Jon will take the throne together. They will rule the seven kingdoms together and destroy the iron throne.

Okay so they’re related, who cares! They didn’t know. They not mother and son or brother and sister, right? I mean yes a lot of us would never ever dare even think of bedding or marrying our aunties or nephews, let alone do it or have to deal with already having done it, but this is Game Of Thrones and the heart wants what it wants.

Also, a dragon created the iron throne and so a dragons fire can destroy it.

Also, Dany has said to Sansa that ever since she can remember her only focus was the iron throne... until she met Jon.

I think we will see Love conquer. Death may come to one of them before love conquers but I believe one of them will rule the 7 Kingdoms. In true Ode to Lord Of The Rings if they rule it together then we can truly say RR Martin is the biggest Tolkien fan there ever was.

6. Tyrion will know how to kill the Night King.

Tyrion asked Bran about his journey since they last met and he sat to hear it all. I am guessing they didn’t show us that conversation because in it Bran told Tyrion how the Knight king was made i.e. with a piece of dragon glass put into his chest. I think this piece of information will come in handy when the crux point of killing the Night King arrives.

7.Cersei must die in Season 8 of Game of Thrones.

Cersei is on the throne, since season 1, cos she was technically ruling the kingdom since Roberts death. All this didn’t happen so that at the end Cersei remains on the throne. Also, in the Battle of Black Water, we have seen that Cersei would rather die than endure defeat, so if she isn’t on the throne she must surely die. Good riddance to the truly rotten soul that is Cersei. I love her and I hate her, but most if all I love the way Game Of Thrones Creators made me love to hate her.

8.Littlefinger will rise with the dead at Winterfell.

If the night king raises the dead at Winterfell, Peter Baelish is part of those buried there. Is this the person Arya is running from in the GOT season 8 trailer?

This is just what I think!

Very soon we shall all find out what shall be.

Enjoy the end!

Five Free Freelancing Tips

Sat, 26 Jan 2019 20:05:34 +0100

How do you know you're a freelancer? Well, when in many conversations with typical 9 to 5 people you often find yourself in this conversation:

Them: So, What do you do?

You: I'm a Freelancer

Them: (Shock and horror on their faces) Really?

You: Yes really why?

Them: How do you manage to do that in this day and age? I mean every thing is so expensive!

You: Yeah... (You shrug) Its what I do...

And that's the truth!

Wether you're a performer writer photographer or corporate freelancer you have to admit you have chosen the harder of two paths. And you know what, that's okay.

The truth is, if you're a freelancer... You work DURING work, BETWEEN work, AFTER work, BEFORE work and lets be honest you are working your hardest so that the work keeps flowing.

So let me be the first to say: WELL DONE! Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle, you are brave. But to live the Free (lancing) life you gotta make sure you pay your bills and can enjoy life as much as the ordinary everyday grinders.

1.You're a freelancer but your work isnt for FREE

People hear the word FREE in Freelancer and sometimes think they can get you for "exposure" or any other non-paying excuse...Don't! Your skill is your skill, you worked hard to get to where you are, so never give it away for free. People take advantage and you never want a string of free gigs lined up. Work out your rate and let people know professionalism comes at a price. You have bills to pay like everyone else. So don't be a Free Freelancer.

2.Remind people of all your skills all the time

People forget! It's human. Sometimes people you know and see all the time don't exactly remember everything you can do, all the time. So remind them. Not in a forceful or in-your-face way, but subtly through casual conversation, a monthly broadcast message, a facebook wall or page. When they remember you and WHAT YOU DO specifically, there's more chance of them getting you to do it and that means more work, more clientele and more flow of your business.

3.You're Always Unemployed between gigs

The one's who are used to 9 to 5 work, when unemployed are very stressed, as they should be. But you have the upper hand, between gigs you are always umemployed. So this gives you strength and a certain composure they will not have acquired. And once you realise you are ALWAYS unemployed, the drive to find the next gig and book more clients or sell more cakes (whatever your freelancing skill) will lead you down motivated roads. NEVER STOP looking for that next gig.

4.Professionalism makes you a Pro

Because you're jumping from employer to employer, client to client, depending on the work you do, ALWAYS BE PROFESSIONAL! Great work leaves a great feeling in you and those you do it for and it guarantees them suggesting you to others and leaves your work reputation impeccable. Be the Pro... And let them know!

5.Schmooze sounds like smooch but DON'T KISS ASS for work

Alot of people believe that sucking up to people gets you work. I see it all the time, people blatantly being "sickly sweet" for the sake of getting that gig, landing that client or adding that company to their list. But that becomes obvious after a few times, and can be very embarrassing. So rather schmooze, authentically. Be yourself, present yourself in a genuine way to the right people in the opportune time and you will stand out as professional instead of a suck up.

6.Work Everyday

Never think that Freelancing means you only work when you get a gig. No! Freelancing means you work harder and more than 9 to 5 fully permanent employees. You must wake up everyday with a purpose, a plan, a list of must dos! Write, Edit, touch up a shoot you did, learn more about your craft, make your business visible online with some cool social media posts reminding people of your multi talented persona, send proposals, call protential clients and book those gigs. Operate as if you were an employee working for your own firm and the product you are selling is you and your skill.

You can do it! Freelancing is Freedom, but as long as you work for it, it will work for you.

Goodluck and Thanks for your services!

Shika

You Live You Lose You Learn! 6 ways to Keep Your Head Up So you see the Rainbow!

Thu, 17 Jan 2019 15:26:13 +0100

Failure is a part of life. Wether its a job you didn't get, a client who didn't sign or a fitness goal you didn't reach by deadline. The truth is IT HAPPENS! To everyone! And when I say everyone I mean absolutely E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E!

Don't believe me? Ask the person who is, in your eyes, succeeding right now. They can tell you of their numerous stumbles down wrong roads, the holes they built ladders to climb out of, and the rejection letters they make their beds from as reminders that winning isn't an easy road.

They will also tell you that Failure is part of their success and an important part of always getting back on the winning path. So you are not alone.

1.Misery Loves Company

I know it feels bad right now but call your friends, family, favourite sister. For a chat, a coffee, a drink or a sky dive (if you are adventurously inclined). Do something with someone. Talk and Laugh even Cry if you must but don't sit and wallow in the losses of the moment. In this game of life there are winners and losers, that's just how life is. If you are losing this season best be surrounded by the ones you love. And understand it's only for a season not a lifetime.

2.Failure is Just Losing with a Lesson

Losing is ok. In modern day culture some believe in giving trophies to the losers to make them feel better. But remember losing is not supposed to feel GOOD or better, and its not meant to be rewarded. Losing and the feelings that go with it are important in your journey. Understand it. Feeling disappointment, regret or stagnant are important feelings. Why? Because it spurs reflection, learning, awareness and change. All these things are good. So embrace failure and accept it for the lesson you have won. Take the steps the lessons point you in. Learn more and don't stop learning.

3.On Your Marks... Get set...Count Your Blessings

This sounds utopian but the truth is when we fail at anything THAT is the exact moment that we must remember what we have going for us. Just because there is one failure it does not mean the other blessings you have disappear. You may grow weary of your failures but you will never get tired of seeing the blessings that surround you. Even if it is being grateful for your eyes to read your rejection, or fingers to type your reply (start small, start with whats infront of you, just start). Do it... be grateful for the small and sometimes taken for granted things you feel blessed to have. Like a warm bed, clean clothes, a yummy lunch, a good friend, a loving mom, an appreciative child... Literally the list is endless. If you are finding it hard to count your blessings look around you, look inside you, look beside you. Write them all down on a piece of paper or journal. Trust me, by the end of it you will feel like you have won despite the momentary feeling of loss.

4.Dance

Dance is a magic tool. It gets your body connected, synapses firing and the mind in tune with good vibrations. Find a song you love and play it. Move your body and feel the rhythm. The benefit of dancing away your sadness will leave you with an endorphin fix that will clear your mind of worry and sadness. Who says you have to be in a happy place to dance, sadness is ok but dancing is even better. Try it.

5.Remember Success sometimes means Future-Failure

Even when you succeed, remember failure comes and goes throughout life, infinitely so. How you pick yourself up defines the journey. The CEO celebrated when he got his position but he can tell you of his failures that followed before he won another battle. The runner who wins will stumble and it will remind her how to win before she can win Gold. One thing is certain in this journey of life: Failure happens! But isn't it lovely you now have experience dealing with it? Use this experience to conquer the moments when you find yourself down. Be grateful for your failures, they teach you resilience.
Its best to know how to bend the disappointment in you to your favour so that you don't break when you fall to the floor. Those who never fail... do not exist. Like I said EVERYONE goes through it.

6.Keep Going

That is a sure-fire way of knowing this stumble in the road does not define you. Your book got rejected? Keep submitting proposals or get feedback as to the reason for rejection and make it better. Keep writing! You failed a subject or year at school? Study harder Study longer! Change your place of study or change HOW you study or WHO you study with! You didn't get the job? Keep applying to that which is best suited to your strongest skills. Giving up isn't an option.
When you fall off a bike, you scrape your knee, do you stop riding forever? No! You get savlon, a plaster and some rest (hopefully with your favourite tv series on the telly) and then you get back on that bike and ride to your next destination.

The brightest rainbows come after the darkest thickest clouds gather and the loudest thunder.
Don't forget this moment.
It's the moment you learnt to dance in the rain, because your techni-colour rainbow will come if you remember the rain is part of the journey.

Shika xx

Five Mood Lifters - When The New Year Starts Getting Old!

Wed, 16 Jan 2019 13:55:29 +0100

It's a New Year and the celebrations are slowing down. Its back to work for most of us, back to school, back to life, back to reality! Sometime the "come down" from the festive time can leave you in a lull.

Unlike the 90's when we needed mood rings to tell us our emotional ebb and flow, the millennium has grown our consciousness and awareness inward. Many of us know the moment our mood drops and (unfortunately) sometimes we wallow in it. But knowing we're in a dull mood doesn't necessarily mean we know HOW TO SNAP OUT OF IT!

Here are my 5 tips to turn a sour mood into a sweet memory:

1.Listen to Music

Put on your favourite song: of all time, or your feel good jam for this season. Sing along, get up and dance, a shimmy and shake, it will turn that blue mood into a red hot stepper to remember.

2.Get Out(side)

Even if your garden is small or communal, just get outside! Smell a flower, admire it's colours in the sun/moon-light... Touch a leaf, smell its essence. Feel the rough bark, take off your shoes and feel the grass on your toes. The extra oxygen in nature will leave you feeling uplifted and revitalised.

3.Get Creative

Even if you don't have a fancy art set or a painting easel and "art farty" paints or brushes, use whats around you to make something out of nothing. Borrow your childs felt pens, colour pencils even CRAYONS! Just draw, scribble, doodle, make a shape colour it in. If you dont have children, look around you for inspiration in leaves, pasta, fruit peels, shells, stones ropes or sticks! Using your hands and creating something out of nothing picks up your mind in the most enlightening way and will make you feel young again.

4.Clean It

I know chores suck most of the time... ohkaaaay ALL of the time, but sometimes your mood can be lifted by seeing a spot that is usally cluttered turned all clean and neat. The coffee table where every thing you own has come to have a 'meeting of the miscellaneous' can get sparkly clean, which will leave you feeling pretty sparkly too.

5.Call or Message a Good Friend/Brother/Sister/Cousin

You know that person that always makes you smile. The one you talk the most nonsense with. The person who you just have to call and they answer with a weird "Watkind!" Or for funny "Halllooooo..."? Call that person for a 1 min pick me up, just to say hi. Text them a small "Hi whats happening." A little chat goes a long way. Also people love when you reach out to them, and making someone else feel loved is guaranteed to get that mood soaring.

And remember, life is naturally about ups and downs, but so long as you keep your head up, you'll always see that rainbow.

Keep Smiling, Keep Shining!

Shika xx

5 THINGS ANYONE CAN DO TO START THE NEW YEAR ON A POSITIVE VIBE by Shika Budhoo

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 13:34:03 +0100

Whether 2018 has been good or bad or a bit of both, ITS ALMOST OVER! The end of the year always brings the opportunity to start something, anything, EVERYTHING! with that I’M AWESOME I CAN DO THIS feeling. Forget resolutions this turn of the year, I say bring in 2019 with good old fashion action. So here’s a list of simple at home things that you can do to make sure those positive vibrations start now and you can ring in the New Year with an OH YES!

1. Homemade Face Mask – good skin feels great whether you’re a guy or a girl! Did you know there’s stuff lying around in your kitchen that you can DIY into a facemask for your specific skin type? Dry or oily, in need of cleansing or plumping out sunken dark circles, DIY Facemasks is the home indulgence that takes 15 mins and leaves you feeling great all week through. My go-to favourite is turmeric, honey, bicarbonate of soda, lemon juice and milk (sugar for exfoliating) for that Glowing good feeling! But you can opt for cocoa coffee mayo tomato avocado cucumbers cinnamon strawberry yoghurt apple banana the list is endless. Basically if you can eat it, open your fridge and slap it on! (If you have sensitive skin or you’re not sure on a food type Google is amazing for also checking what NOT to put on your skin.) But everything mentioned here is safe quick an easy for that NEW FACE feeling to bring in the NEW YEAR.

2. Oil your hair – Frequent washing, using product, drying, straightening, and even swimming in the pool cause damage and dryness to hair every day. Truth is every day the natural oils are stripped and your hair is left looking and feeling like steel wool. Before you shower mix coconut oil, olive oil, almond oil (OR JUST ONE) and apply, let it sit for 15 minutes and wash it off as usual. This will replenish lost oils and vitamins to your hair and leave you with that LOOK AT ME feeling for your next selfie with your friends as you watch the sunrise on New Year’s Day.

3. Clear The Clutter - You know that spot in your house where everything random ends up? Those arb things that don’t fit a specific category for a shelf or cupboard? (for me it’s the top of the fridge and the shelf below my dresser) You know what I’m talking about! That’s called a CLUTTER SPOT! Now while clutter spots make a home look, well, “homely”! because, let’s be honest, they’re okay when small and restricted to limited areas, the thing is, cleaning up a clutter spot can bring awesome feelings of achievement and organisation. Clear up a clutter spot in your home and I promise you every time you look at that spot in January that small feeling of accomplishment, the I’M SO GOOD AT THIS feeling will be the best warm up to a successful year to follow.

4. Clean Your House - yes we should be doing this one on a regular basis, but that’s not what I mean here. A nice clean home is a great space to balance your mind and be personally productive, whether meditating, reading or just hanging out with friends for laughs and good times. I’m sure we all have a clean house, right? Right! But this tip isn’t about the daily, weekly or even monthly chores we do on the regular. What I mean is: Clean a place like under your bed or the back of your closet, or even the insides of your shoes. I’m saying whatever it is, where ever it is: find something to clean that isn’t on your regular chore list and do it to perfection (I use cotton buds and old toothbrushes for this type of cleaning). This is guaranteed to bring that ultimate I LIVE AWESOMELY feeling.

5. Give Away Your Old Stuff – Everyone of us has stuff we keep around for whatever reason: sentiment, attachment, memories, well-its-been-there-for-so-long-who-am-I-to-move-it-now reasons! And it’s okay to do that, it makes you human. But December is a great time to gather that stuff and give it away to someone who needs it more than you want it. Giving things you don't need, or use, or fit into anymore is a great way for making room for ‘the new’. And I say ‘the new’ because it’s not just making room for new OBJECTS in your life, its making room for new ideas, thoughts and memories to be made. So while I do mean get rid of old clothes and baby items your toddlers don't use anymore, I also mean it’s a great time for letting go of the old patterns. Maybe your new adventure in the New Year is literally waiting for the space to occupy in your home and heart. Make up your mind to make room for the things that matter in 2019.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

5 BEST WEDDING GIFTS TO GIVE THIS SEASON by Shika Budhoo

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 06:43:02 +0100

Forget Christmas! Summer is here and so is Wedding Season! Whether you have 1 or 10 wedding invites this season, choosing the right gift for the happy couple is sometimes the most difficult part of attending a wedding. The first stage is knowing your couple, are they homely, adventurous or a little bit of both? Whichever category, here are 5 WEDDING GIFT IDEAS a couple will appreciate:

1. Exquisite Stationary- Even though we all live off our phone’s, the truth is everyone has to write down something some time. Whether it’s a shopping list, a to-do-list, a back to school shopping reminder or memorable quote for that all important presentation, we will be needing pen and paper sometime in our day or week. Stationary these days varies from practical black and white to hand-made designer stationary with unique accents. While the practical variant may not be the best Wedding gift, the designer options are classically special. Why not find a suitable outlet and pick a couple colourful or gold highlighted note pads, note books, magnetic fridge notes, pens and pencils? Even HIS and HER diaries wrapped in classic gold paper has that ‘you’re worth it’ feeling attached. This ensures the happy couple will keep you as part of their day while they write down that all important list.

2. His and Her Handbag and Backpack/Man Bag- While giving ONE gift is the standard practice at weddings, giving a ‘his and her’ gift is a great way to remind a couple that even though they are tying the knot, they are still individuals who can be uniquely themselves. A handbag and backpack or even a handy man bag (NO MOON BAGS PLEASE) both with the same unique prints or touch of colour makes a fashionable statement to their couple status, matching in a classy way. If you’re the bride, tiny identical uniquely printed clutch bags also make great gifts for your bride maids and wedding party.

3. Comfy ‘Slip On and Go’ Shoes for that Honeymoon- While shoes are the most unexpected gift to give as a wedding gift, it’s also unique. Unexpected is good if you do it right. Wedding couples receive too many dishes, pots, household ornaments, teapots and cups and saucers. Giving them something fun fresh and funky for their honeymoon is an unforgettable way to say you care. Of course, with this gift maybe you need access to their shoe cupboard to borrow a pair from his and hers for proper sizing, but if you get it right, after the wedding when they’re setting off their honeymoon adventure, a comfortable pair of unique slip on and go shoes (Pumps, slops, slip on sand shoes) will be most welcomed, making you the gift giver they’re most grateful for.

4. Tickets to a Top Show - A lot of couples fear their adventures will fade once they’re tied to a ball and chain. So what better way to remind them they don't have to change their lifestyle by booking you and your significant other a double date with them for an amazing show and treating them to dinner and maybe even a dance afterwards. Book the best comedy in town, or the best musical on offer. Treat them the moment they’re back from their honeymoon to remind them of your love and friendship. It’s also a great way to catch up after their honeymoon adventures. Amazing memories together is the best gift to give.

5. Puzzles or Board Games- One of the biggest fears couples have when taking the leap into marriage is losing touch with their friends after the honeymoon. Why not get them one or a few (if your budget allows) board games and add a note: “We’ll be over fairly regularly for Game Night!” Or A note to the puzzle (of their taste): “We’re doing this one with you! This is a great reminder to them that you will be there after the ‘I do’s’ for love support and good times.

Braai Day Hijacks Our Heritage

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 13:10:12 +0100

Ok so nevermind the fact that every year for "BRAAI DAY" we (Tamils and some Hindi's- lol) fast from meat so we cannot enjoy the lekker braais with the rest of the nation... I understand its our choice to fast and so we must take it as it is and sacrifice being part of a national day. Yes...

But...

I think Braai Day happening on the same day distracts from the importance of Heritage Day (The way the Comrades was moved from Youth Day cos its was a distraction from the true significance of the day)

Braai Day should be moved to the 1st Sunday of September, so that

1. Braai Day has it's own day for all South Africans including those who hold the Purtassi fast to enjoy and come together over a lekker braai. (Hehe)

And 2. Heritage Day is celebrated for all its colour vibrancy and diversity that makes us a rainbow nation.

What you say?

#ItsTheRightThingToDo #BraaiDayHijackedOurHeritage

Mirror Mirror... Make Up... (Is In) Your Mind

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 13:08:27 +0100

A friend of mine posted this on facebook and it got me thinking, so thought I would post my reponse as a blog.

For decades (and longer) make up and its use to "beautify" and enhance ones apperance has been forced onto females in all aspects of their life. Their "roles models" in the form of tv and film music etc. personalities are not all 'Alicia Keys'. The many role models in all spheres of life don't flaunt their make-up free imperfect faces, instead many run make up brands to make the ordinary woman appear as if she has the same team of make up artists they possess daily.

It not just these role models that influence women, its also from experience, when you go to a wedding or a night out and look "like a magazine cover" those girls tend to get more attention from males (and females) because as a continuing perpetuation of an admiring "look" these boys have also been told what is attractive and what isn't, and so the woman learns a bright red lips gets a guy noticing her kissable lips etc (like a constant advert running in her head).

So 'the norm' created by wanting to be something we're not becomes perpetuated by all, the need to be part of what is attractive gets its own identity that everyone wants to own a part of.

I mean look at contouring, its the latest fashion statement that changes the features of a women, and I don't see enough men (or women) complaining about it.

ALSO even though 3/4 of men SAY they prefer women with less make up or no make up sometimes what they SAY they prefer and what they actually go after differ when faced with both options before them, and I think women read these signs from their experiences and wear make up accordingly. And so it happens our levels of confidence become attached to a particular look. Once your confidence is attached to something in a tube or plastic stick, you need it in what some consider 'intimidating' male run offices, or "beautiful female" run places of work.

Our insecurities rule our everyday choices, (and that isnt necessarily a bad thing) they are the base of the amount of and type of make up we put on, the types of clothes we wear, the shoes we choose etc. Definitely not everybody, but I can say from experience this is the majority.

Alot of people think insecurity is a bad thing, but it really isn't, its ok to have insecurities, we all do, its what comes when we are raised in this advert driven society where tvs and disney are raising kids because parents are busy trying to put food on the table so cannot be there to redirect all the beauty "propaganda" learnt from a young age from these advertisements and general programming choices. Being aware of ones insecurities helps those insecurities not control your life in a negative way.

Alot of women wear make up for confidence, or to "feel fierce" because they have linked fierce to a look more than a feeling, and thats ok too. They wear make up to feel good, because their bare faces have been made to feel like a bare canvas instead of the art it is.

Like models in magazines and ramps have become thinner over the years, so have they become more done up with make up, and its become part of the "ideal" appeal when trying to catch a fish in a pool of already built perceptions as to what beauty is. Its making people want the 'ideal'. For eg. The majority of people are not skinny but tv and mainstream media prefer to cast "ideals" instead of "real life" examples because they have decided it appeals more to their eyes and ideas for what society should look like. Same with make up.

We have been told we look better with make up, so we believe it. Maybe we havent been complimented enough for our make up free faces enough to believe that those are beautiful too. Make up adverts rely on our insecurities of wrinkles lines blemishes and spots for their promotion and financial gain. We buy into them telling us that we're ugly without their foundation/concealer/eyeshadow/lipstick etc.

And even now our cameras have a "blemish free" filter, which innately tell a women/man that their blemishes shouldn't be there, which is not true, but people in power make these decisions and create an army of believers that find it hard to change those ideals placed upon them. It is an entire system that needs to change.

The way there has been movements for pro-natural hair and darker skin, I think we need a movement for "bare is better" (or something with a better ring to it lol)... Because i think the more people we see baring their insecurities and gaining confidence from THAT we will see alot more inner confidence bared and less done up faces. But alas it is a giant beast the make up industry it is, and the fight will be long and hard. But the more women like Alicia Keys who spread THAT ideal will influence those penetrable in this generation and especially the next generation to hopefully be more confident make up free. It can be done, one face at a time.... End!

This blog is essentially my comment to her thought provoking ideas and questions posed.

Me, My-Self Analysis, and I

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 13:07:18 +0100

29 May 2018

(This is a facebook post I decided to post on my blog because of the responses it had)

Paddy Pahalad posted this Self Analysis post earlier and tonights Full moon got me thinking about self analysis, awareness (self and general) and consciousness.

In my self analysis journey I am constantly trying to make sure what I say and do are in alignment with what i think and I am constantly aiming for authentic improvement.

I am the observer of my own thoughts and patterns, somedays its easy other days I have to make an effort.

But then the moment I encounter someone who is blindly saying one thing and acting opposite to it, their incongruency is a nag and my ego engulfs the incongruency with unanswerable questions... and sometimes I notice the 'incongruents' get enraged by my openness which sometimes reveals their hypocritcal nature because I also have a very specific memory of people and their heartfelt expressions...

I struggle to understand the incongruency of it all...

Do I stop being open with what I think on matters because their truth is too vulnerable for the incongruents to handle?

I have to keep reminding myself not everyone is on this 'living in conciousness' quest that i take on everyday, every moment, think before you speak, thought behind every post... The struggle that is Congition vs Consciousness...

Okay so everyones been there... You know when you realise everyone you know, who knows a certain person, has had a problem with that person and are as confused by their miscommunication as you are? Know someone like that? It's a common occurance.. it just makes you wonder how they themselves keep going on living in a bubble of non-alignment without seeing that pattern, especially when everyone around them sees it so blatantly... It makes me wonder about their self analysis journey... And then my 'thought observant self' says: "Wondering about THEIR self analysis journey is your ego thats talking, your ego thats wondering, so let that shit go, ain't nobody got time for that..." lol

Alot of my long self awareness journey (past present and future) is also thanks to the people around me esp my mom sis and hubby (even Sai to some degree) the moment i say one thing and do another or come across 'unconcious' in my communication or behaviour they truthfully let me know...

The truth is a hard pill to swallow esp when its about you, but its the only way to free the ego entraping you further into delusions of unawareness.

And you know, when I am forced to face these truths its easy to get angry, the other option is I can get aligned, and i always find the latter helps the next step. But being self aware is the FIRST STEP.

Today I pondered all this from the morning chat with Paddy and I realise i need to keep reminding myself: Authenticity isn't everyones goal, which is sad but true Self awareness isn't for everyone and that's okay. You do you, let them do them! (And i dont mean 'let them do them' in a 'they can go f@*k themselves' kinda way lol )

I mean it in a 'their incongruency shouldn't be an excuse for my ego to have an incongruency party'...

When you are on a journey of 'thinking about what you think about' long posts like this are a melting pot of understanding.

#ChooseDayThoughts #ChooseAuthenticity #ChooseAwareness #ChooseAlignment #HappyChooseDay #HappyFullMoon #Awwwwoooo

Pink or blue... The big reveal...

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 13:05:33 +0100

I saw this miniature broom set at a popular baby shop. Having a three year old boy who is ALWAYS playing with the house broom, I thought ‘THIS IS BRILLIANT’, because I can now teach him to start helping around the house instead of just making a mess for me to clean up alone. But they only had this pink set, in what we all know as ‘the pink aisle’ a.k.a the girls aisle. The boy’s aisle of toys had trucks and cars, golf sets and a few gardening items, but no broom, no hand broom and no scoop. At first I took this picture and got upset that there was no blue version of this. I was thinking HOW DARE THEY in 2018 still project ‘sweeping’ as a task that girls would be more likely to emulate.

This brought back every lecture I had sat in about the history of patriarchy and its perpetuation in society in preset day. This broom set make me remember the necessity of feminism to bring about a balance in gender roles that has never existed in widespread society even until now.

I was angry, I wanted to write to the store and the manufacturers and ask why they are prescribing domestic activities for only girls? If it were nail polish, a medical set, or legos, I don't think I would’ve been as upset, because beauty is a girls job right? Promoting girls to take up a profession in medicine is a good thing right? And building of Legos promote more girls to later have the option of engineering and architecture, right? But because it was a ‘household’ item I went into fight mode. “Is that what they think women are? ‘Household’ keepers? Domestically inclined to learn the art of cleaning from a young age?”

As I contemplated this blog my thoughts turned inwards. After a few days, I realised I was incessantly questioning my own beliefs. WHY do I think they should have a BLUE one? Does that not make me as bad as the manufacturers? Wait...I actually buy into this construct that blue is for boys and pink is for girls? Why? Is it because I was brought up that way? Barbie is Pink and Toolsets are Blue. What if I bought this set for my son? Does it make him less of a boy? Does it make him inclined to think he’s a girl? Will he get teased by other children for playing with ‘girls toys’ or ‘pink things’? Because children are already being brought up with this idea of pink and blue? Do I want my son to think this? If he thinks differently would others not look at him as an outcast in society? Do I want to raise my son feeling like an outcast? Does thinking differently make one an outcast? How do I raise him knowing what society perpetuates isn’t always the right thing to believe? I became aware of my own prejudice of the colours pink and blue. And I had more questions than answers, but despite that, my understanding was growing.

Wikipedia claims “The reality that ‘pink for girls and blue for boys’ has existed continuously since at least the 1820s, while ‘blue for girls, pink for boys’ is only recorded between 1889 and 1941..”

For five decades there appears to have been a ‘fad’ to swop the colours around, but the perpetuation of this ‘opposite ideal’ for five decades was still not enough to eradicate the inexplicable allocation of the colours to their genders.

These days “Pink and Blue” bring to mind the ‘gender reveal parties’ parents are having when a child is going to be born, they have a ‘reveal party’. They cut a cake, or open and envelope or pop a balloon and the gender of the baby is revealed, pink reserved for girls and blue reserved for boys. It almost feels like a fact that the gender owns the colour, because these colours are symbols of the private parts you possess before you are even born. But over multiple decades these colours have been claimed by a gender, because those in charge of making the toys and clothes and I dare say the “rules” and those marketing them to us, saw a glimpse of a pattern and then perpetuated it to the point of nausea. I say nausea because I sometimes feel overwhelmed in the girls aisle by the ‘plague of pink’ surrounding me.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE pink, but as a girl child, it wasn’t my first favourite colour. When I was young (under ten) I loved green first, then purple (in my teens), then black (varsity days), and as an adult I discovered a love for pink (in my 20’s), and now my favourite colour is yellow. Not because I buy things in my favourite colour, the way I did in my teens and twenties, no... Yellow is my favourite colour because when I see yellow it brightens my soul and I get all tingly emotionally, it makes me happy; it’s also the same colour as my favourite flower Sunflowers, so there is both emotion and logic behind my love of yellow. My husband’s favourite colour is Red because he’s a Man United fan. And he’s not a United Fan because he HAS to watch all their matches, or a fan only when they win, no, he’s a fan because something in the team (no matter who plays on the team or who coaches it) causes an emotional charge in him the way the colour yellow or sunflowers does so in me.

Which got me thinking: does the colour blue and pink have emotional charges? And are they charged in a particular way because of the constructs we have bought into and continue to succumb to after years of indoctrination over their symbolism? Now with the LGBTQI movement gaining positive strides (the way feminism continues their fight against patriarchy) I feel we cannot speak about pink and blue without mentioning ‘gay or straight’.

Along with the construct of ‘boys wear blue’ and ‘girls wear pink’, it is becoming a belief that the reversal of colours (worn or preferred) are signifiers of a reversal of gender and sexual preference. And in my experience and observance, it is more directed to males, a boy who wears pink is sometimes teased for being a girl, he is thought of and spoken of as weak and sensitive, but a girl who chooses blue isn’t necessarily ‘teased’ to be a ‘tom boy'. This worries me that as a society we not only have associated the colour pink with girls, but also now with weakness and sensitivity, which in turn the belief is claiming that ‘girls/women are weak and sensitive’ as a rule. Having being raised by a strong single mom, and the fact that majority of households are led by women who exude strength and stamina, it is shocking to see the thought patterns don't match the real life world examples. (This is inspiring me to write a blog about our ‘matriarchal system’ and the false constructs around them, but back to the reversal of the ‘pink and blue’ allocation.) Sometimes a reversal of preference of this ídeal’ has led to harassment, bullying and unnecessary pain caused, all over a preferred colour.

Now my son is 3 years old, he does not define himself by gender or sexual preference. He understands some people are boys and some are girls, mommy is a girl, daddy is a boy, our dogs for example, Jackpot is a boy and Princess Soji is a girl. Now because his language skills are only developing I have no idea of investigating exactly what those differences mean for him. But when I try to tie his hair into a bun or pony tail or when he saw his father dressed in costume for a show of ours where his Dad wears a pink mini dress, my son exclaimed “NO! DADDY IS NOT A PRINCESS”. I was shocked when he made the claim. Somewhere in his short life experience, and small vocabulary skill set he found the expression that tying your hair, and wearing pink, or a dress makes you a ‘princess’ which he understands as being a girl.

Now I am not making any judgement on gay or straight, I believe people need to be what they are and no-one has any right to judge or be prejudiced against any lifestyle, basically I believe in: if your life expression and preferences does not hurt another being, then feel free to be who you are.

But as we all know there are prejudices prevalent in society that are against LGBTQI, and there are people who hold firm views against freedom of sexuality, and they are raising their children with these prejudiced ideals. There are a lot of reasons from religion, culture, upbringing to denial, rejection and ignorance that cause this prejudice, and I now think this ‘pink and blue ideal’ is one of the foundation thoughts that lead to further perpetuate this prejudice.

The ‘pink is for girls and blue is for boys’ belief makes people believe something that doesn’t exist. Now when I say that, I am not denying that the culture of ‘pink is for girls, blue is for boys’ exists. I am saying it is a human construct based on nothing of particular substance and an empty reasoning and that as it was created, so can it be destroyed. And who knows it may lead to more understanding, less bullying and more freedom of choice and acceptance of different choices.

IF all of us parents in this generation, whatever our belief is, if we taught our kids that as a child you can like pink or blue no matter what gender you are, and if ‘the powers that be’: the manufacturers of clothes, toys advertising agencies etc. if they also follow suit in their campaigns and products; I honestly think in a few generations time we would eradicate this useless ‘construct’ of pink and blue.

And yes this is a Utopian view, no one is any lifetime has managed to convince absolutely everyone in existence to put aside their views for a better mind construct in the hopes of a better future. But like any cause, the battles won are small and over time can amount to larger victories against prejudiced thinking perpetuated by these simple ideals we sometimes unconsciously adhere to.

Since I read Echkart Tolle’s THE POWER OF NOW and A NEW EARTH, I am on a ever present awareness journey. I find myself thinking more about ‘How we think about things and why we think in certain ways?’ I urge you to join me in this moment to moment learning process, investigate the thoughts that automatically pitch up in your head and if you aren’t happy with them, change them, and let your behaviour reflect the change as an example for others to follow.

I want to buy this pink set for my son, but I am not raising him alone. So a family discussion has to happen first before I rashly go attempting to change the world by forcing others (like my husband) to change their minds. In this journey I have discovered you have to be ready for consciousness and cannot force anyone into awareness. My blog is about posing ideas you may want to think about, for yourself. In no way am I asking you to change your beliefs or behaviour, these are my thoughts and I wish to share them so as to bring insight to something you may have been already thinking about, and to encourage discussion on the topic at hand.

I will continue to investigate my own thoughts and the minds of those I live with even further to help change this society from the inside out and always for the better. They sound like grand claims, but all grand claims start with an idea, and they start with one person, looking within, thinking further and aligning thoughts with actions. For now I want to be that ‘one person’. Do you? Its starts with one step, simply, next time you buy something for your child, red orange yellow green or blue, reflect on the ideals it perpetuates, and ‘buy in awareness’ because if you aren’t ‘in awareness’ know that you’re “buying into” something on a psychological level that could influence you and your families belief system for generations to come.